Thursday, October 30, 2008

Inside Outside InsideOutside InOut -- Argh

Random thought as I study the most boring book on the planet: Are most people as stupid as they seem to be?

At school, I probably seem like your average breezy-brained, going-nowhere girl. I'm loud, I don't pay attention in class, and I'm quite obnoxious at times. All my professors hate me (save for the English one, who adores all the books I bring ...), and I'm not just saying that.

Even here on the blog I sometimes feel very out-of-character internally while totally in character with my outer persona. And as much as I'm conscious of my flaws, I can't seem to make any effort to change them. It's a bit of laziness figured in with the "I'll change someday" complex. 

I also can't help but wonder that, if you're mindful of how you act and how you come across to people, if that's unnatural or if it's just normal self-awareness.

The best of me - not to say that part of me is the parameter for all that is holy in the world, but it's the best I've got to offer right now - is hidden away somewhere, criticizing everything else I do. Sometimes I wonder if when I grow up (something I should start doing soon, actually) she'll come out.

Or maybe that's the entire point in life - correlating your true self with the person you put out there. Is there even a way to do that?

Or, back to the beginning, are people really as stupid as they seem? What you see is what you get, and all that.

* Random, random. Studying for Geography does this to me.

10 comments:

Simply_Megan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Simply_Megan said...

Sorry that earlier one was messed up. Ok, let's try again : ).

I think one of the big parts of being a teenager (or at any age really) is figuring out who you are.

Like most people think I'm really quiet and shy, but I can be the most talkative person when I'm with my friends. It's like I have two different personas. That sounds weird, but it's true. lol.

Steph said...

I know what you mean.

You know what also stumps me? Wondering if this person I think is inside me - the better self, if you will - is real or just a figment of my conscience?

Argh the state of being is so complicated!

jocelyn said...

Are most people stupid? I would have said no before my job at Kmart, but now I must say YES. Though perhaps it is the despairingly negative energy of my place of work getting to me. Because I'm not as stupid as I apparently seem to people at school, either. Most people aren't what they show the world, not entirely.

Amee said...

I would say that we do have to correlate the inside with the outside. Or vice versa. Basically, we are never entirely ourselves in front of other people, but as we get older and more comfortable with ourselves then our outside persona will start to reflect the inside persona.

When I'm unsure of myself I find that I'm more outgoing and talkative because I'm trying to fill in what isn't there. I usually feel really stupid afterward because I then realize it wasn't really me. Not that this is what you're doing, but it kind of matches your inside outside thing. Like you know you're not really that way, but you can't help doing it anyway because you're trying to fill in what you can't figure out so everyone else doesn't know you haven't figured it out. Lol, it's so hard to explain.

I'm just going to stop typing because I'm confusing myself now. :P

Eli said...

Some people are as stupid as they seem to be. Some aren't. Some are more so. The whole is undefinable. That's something I learned from Dickens.
I find it's good to close one's eyes and breathe and remember not to pretend.
Most people are pretending most of the time, I think.

You should read A Tale of Two Cities.

Eli said...

Because 1) it's amazing, and 2) it makes you realize that things and people are more complicated than they are presented to be.

Ms. Yingling said...

I just assume that everyone is stupid and then I am not disappointed. Unfortunately or fortunately, I have taught this to my children as well. Mostly, people don't stop and THINK!

Alea said...

Well put Ms. Yingling! I really have no idea how to answer this, I'm just how I am, when I'm that way haha! I definitely have certain qualities that people come to expect from me though haha! I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

ali said...

Ahh, I love this topic because I definitely struggle with the whole internal vs. external personality. On the outside (to everyone but my immediate family), I'm very quiet. On the inside, I feel like a completely different person sometimes. My online personality (if there is such a thing) is so very different to the real-life me. It's all very weird. It's like the online me is trying to be the internal me who doesn't show it externally in reality ... That didn't really make any sense, but yes ...

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